Back in March I was joking around with my Psychiatrist about Therapy pets, after one of my friends (you know who you are!) gave me the idea. I hate taking all the medicines I'm on, so the idea about getting a pet to help deal with my issues, may in fact have the effect that it reduces the amount of pharmacological meds I have to pump into my system. The main thing that was holding us back getting a pet was "Pet Rent" our complex charges we cannot afford.
To my surprise, she - my Psychiatrist - thought it a great idea, and couldn't hurt too much to try. I called my apartment office to see if there was a way to get that Pet Fee waved (its like $250 deposit, and $50 a month on top of our normal rent) and lo and behold: there is! Just get a medical professional to sign off on a form for an exemption and they can wave both. After a few weeks of waiting, I got a letter back saying we got approved for it.
Another one of my friends had a cat about to kitten, so I was going to get kittens from her, I thought. But my Psychiatrist said she had 2 female mini cats that were under a year old - litter mates - that were not getting along with her other 10 cats, so she had to find a good home for them. They were both loving and loved cuddling. We figured them about 8 months old, as they still had some milk teeth, but mostly full grown. So not only did we find a way around the excess apartment cost of the cats, I got 2 kittens that were very loving.
Dora Ninja is the smaller kitten. She is almost completely pure black (if she's in a sunbeam you can see some brown) She loves using her coloring to hide in nooks and crannies and jumping out to grab ankles. She also scolds us when we don't feed her at the right time.
Hattie Cattie is half black and white, and has the coloring fairly similar to Dr. Seuss's Cat in the Hat. She has become my snuggle mate, especially when I have a bad headache and when I don't have a Monkey snuggling me.
We got these kittens mid May. With in a week, Hattie got really sick, and we had to take her to an emergency vet. She was vomiting everything she ate or drank up. Long story short, she had abdominal surgery - and got fixed at the same time. The Vet took out her stomach and felt all along her intestines, but found nothing obstructing either stomach or intestines. she carefully put everything back and stitched her up. When we talked later, she was surprised to find nothing - the Xrays showed a grey mass in her stomach and lots of air in her intestines. She kept Hattie in observation for 48 hrs after surgery. Hattie kept everything down and it was going through her system correctly, so she got to come home.
We are now about 4 weeks after her surgery and she is still doing fine. we think what happened was there was a slight twist in her intestines that was obstructing the flow, so having them rearranged got rid of the twist or kink.
In the few short weeks we've had the kittens, they've changed our lives. I'm not just talking about getting a bunch of flea bites either, making us very itchy. (Yes, we have been using a monthly med to control the fleas.) They've wormed their way into our hearts. These 2 kittens have helped with my Panic Attacks and Anxiety attacks some what. Hattie actually knows when I've got a bad headache and comes lays on the bed with me. What is better for a pounding head then a purring kitten curled up next to you?
Only thing has gone wrong is the 2 kittens are afraid of Monkey, so if they see him coming, they run for cover.
Showing posts with label Panic Attack. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Panic Attack. Show all posts
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
It's out of my hands now.
Here is a hard fact: Most people aren't making enough money to make ends meet. We are EXTREMELY lucky to have food stamps and Metro (HUD Section 8) help so most of our housing and food is subsidized, because if we didn't, we'd be forced to live with my parents.
To this end, teh_Bagder and I decided to submit a Social Security Disability application for me. Since these headaches are so frequent and having such bad symptoms with them, I cannot work - heck a 30 minute shopping trip to the grocery store often causes a migraine or panic attack. Who would hire someone like me, that frequently needs to cower in a dark cool room for several hrs at a time with little or no warning. Heck, I'm on probation with my Psychiatrist, as they have the 3 strike rule - if you miss 3 appointments (or cancel in under 24 hrs) they will no longer see you. At least the office lady, bless her, isn't counting the times I was in the ER or on my way to the ER for a migraine for the 3 strike rule. Or I would be hunting for a new one right now.
We know stress is one of my migraine triggers, as is overly bright lights. We know a few of my triggers, but a good portion of my migraines don't seem to have triggers. Same thing with the anxiety and panic attacks. Sometimes we know what triggers one, but other times we have no clue. It is very disconcerting to wake up in the middle of the night having a seriously bad anxiety attack. It has happened a few times, the worst one almost felt like it was a heart attack (chest pain, tingling left arm, those kind of symptoms) and my rescue meds take about 30-45 min to kick in, so I had to lay there and relax until those meds had time to take effect. I clock watched, because if after the 45 min I was still having the chest pains, I would have woken teh_Bagder and told him that we needed to go to the ER again.
Some friends and family think we should put the elder 2 back into brick and mortar schools so I wouldn't get stressed over their school work. Actually, having them home is less stressful. No worry about bullies to break glasses (happened twice - school did absolutely nothing), or to ridicule the fact that Munchkin was in special math and reading classes for super-bright kids (again, school did absolutely nothing). And here they have more time to eat lunch. The drama I got when they got home was a LOT more stressful than me keeping them home to school them here. Also, with Munchkin and Buddy here most of the time, when I get a migraine that I have to seclude myself in a dark, cool room to wait for my meds to kick in, Monkey has people to keep a watchful eye on him. Knowing that he will be kept safe while I am pleading for my meds to kick in faster, is a stress relief.
To this end, teh_Bagder and I decided to submit a Social Security Disability application for me. Since these headaches are so frequent and having such bad symptoms with them, I cannot work - heck a 30 minute shopping trip to the grocery store often causes a migraine or panic attack. Who would hire someone like me, that frequently needs to cower in a dark cool room for several hrs at a time with little or no warning. Heck, I'm on probation with my Psychiatrist, as they have the 3 strike rule - if you miss 3 appointments (or cancel in under 24 hrs) they will no longer see you. At least the office lady, bless her, isn't counting the times I was in the ER or on my way to the ER for a migraine for the 3 strike rule. Or I would be hunting for a new one right now.
We know stress is one of my migraine triggers, as is overly bright lights. We know a few of my triggers, but a good portion of my migraines don't seem to have triggers. Same thing with the anxiety and panic attacks. Sometimes we know what triggers one, but other times we have no clue. It is very disconcerting to wake up in the middle of the night having a seriously bad anxiety attack. It has happened a few times, the worst one almost felt like it was a heart attack (chest pain, tingling left arm, those kind of symptoms) and my rescue meds take about 30-45 min to kick in, so I had to lay there and relax until those meds had time to take effect. I clock watched, because if after the 45 min I was still having the chest pains, I would have woken teh_Bagder and told him that we needed to go to the ER again.
Some friends and family think we should put the elder 2 back into brick and mortar schools so I wouldn't get stressed over their school work. Actually, having them home is less stressful. No worry about bullies to break glasses (happened twice - school did absolutely nothing), or to ridicule the fact that Munchkin was in special math and reading classes for super-bright kids (again, school did absolutely nothing). And here they have more time to eat lunch. The drama I got when they got home was a LOT more stressful than me keeping them home to school them here. Also, with Munchkin and Buddy here most of the time, when I get a migraine that I have to seclude myself in a dark, cool room to wait for my meds to kick in, Monkey has people to keep a watchful eye on him. Knowing that he will be kept safe while I am pleading for my meds to kick in faster, is a stress relief.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Opening a Cupboard.. to reveil the skeletons...
I need to stop keeping most secrets from my friends and family. Most of my friends are not aware of how badly I suffer.
I have severe depression, with anxiety and panic attacks. I also have serious issues with migraines. The migraines, I've had started in August, 1999, while I was 8+ months pregnant with Munchkin, our favorite daughter who will be 13 in October. Usually, I have cycles of migraines: 6 months of bad headaches, then they would leave me be - other than that time of the month that most women hate. This round, we are approaching the 4 year mark on this cycle. I was about 4 months pregnant with Monkey when the severe ones started. My OB urged me to see a neurologist at the time, but either they had no openings or they refused our insurance. So, my GP and I started to play drug roulette with daily migraine meds, as well as rescue medications. This last November, I finally got into a Neurologist, and now I am on a medicine go round with her to find the right combo of meds that will help my migraines. Currently, I am getting mild migraines (ones that I can still function with for the most part) 3-4 times a week. But I am getting severe ones (ones that I cannot function with) 1-3 times a week AND sometimes they last longer than 24 hrs. I have even lost consciousness for a few minutes when one hit, and collapsed several more times. I usually end up in the ER about once a month because of these migraines.
My depression is harder to pinpoint the exact date, but I did have my first mental breakdown in September, 1997 (That is the first time I admitted something was wrong with myself emotionally, and was put on prozac at the time but a doctor at BGSU). I hated prozac as all it did was put my emotions in a box, so I could go about my daily routine without bursting into tears or explode with anger without any warning. It allowed me to get my schoolwork done, but it also made me do some idiotic things like binge drink every weekend with my neighbor across the hall (her bf was 21, so we could get the alcohol we wanted) I even called Jason while I was drunk in the middle of the night, which he thought hilarious. I have been off and on antidepressants since then. The worst pard of it is, is I frequently get this bad voice in my head telling me just to end the suffering and pain that I am not only causing myself, but that I am also causing my family and a few select friends that know most of this.
I mentioned that I was admitted to the hospital this past April/May. I had to go to the ER, because I was having a seriously bad migraine that my rescue meds didn't help with. In the course of the interview with treoge nurse, she asked if I had any thoughts of hurting myself or others. I burst into tears and told her of the voice telling me to hurt myself so my family would be better off without having to take care of me. I was then put onto suicide watch in the ER, and sat outside a curtained room next to the nurses station in a chair, since the had no free beds.
About 30 min after I got settled, the cops brought in this woman who had her face covered with a bag and handcuffed, screaming at her father, using Jesus's name in vain and saying some very nasty other things I don't want to recall. She was placed in the curtained room right infront of me. One of my panic attack set offs is screaming and yelling in an angry tone of voice, so within 30 seconds of the curtain closing after her, I start having a huge panic attack and start to get hysterical. The nurse set to watch me notices this about 5-10 min later. I ask for some xanax and my migraine meds and ask to be moved because she was upsetting me greatly- tears streaking down my face, me shaking like there is an earthquake going on, that kind of thing. I am surprised I didn't blackout, because I have done so in the past when having a panic attack. He quickly finds a bed 50ft from the room, gets me a panic attack drug, and puts in an IV to administer the migraine stuff. Jason was finally able to get there, because the super on his shift let him out a hr early from. We are then told that I was being admitted to the psych ward for observation because, obviously my depression meds and panic attack/anxiety meds aren't working At 12pm the following day I was told I was being transferred to Mount Carmel West because the ward at OSU was full and no vacancies were going to happen for at least 48 hrs. Long story short, I was there 7 days, and they gave me a "new" rx that is SNRI, instead of just a SSRI.
My several docs I see - GP, Neuro, and Psychiatrist think that they are related, and if we can get a handle on one, then the other should decrease. The number of different meds I am on (these are just my daily meds) is about 8. On top of that, I have 4 emergency migraine rescue drugs and 1 rescue panic attack/anxiety drug. I have not been online much since getting out of the hospital, partly due to the backlit screens are painful to look at, and because I am extremely tired.
I have severe depression, with anxiety and panic attacks. I also have serious issues with migraines. The migraines, I've had started in August, 1999, while I was 8+ months pregnant with Munchkin, our favorite daughter who will be 13 in October. Usually, I have cycles of migraines: 6 months of bad headaches, then they would leave me be - other than that time of the month that most women hate. This round, we are approaching the 4 year mark on this cycle. I was about 4 months pregnant with Monkey when the severe ones started. My OB urged me to see a neurologist at the time, but either they had no openings or they refused our insurance. So, my GP and I started to play drug roulette with daily migraine meds, as well as rescue medications. This last November, I finally got into a Neurologist, and now I am on a medicine go round with her to find the right combo of meds that will help my migraines. Currently, I am getting mild migraines (ones that I can still function with for the most part) 3-4 times a week. But I am getting severe ones (ones that I cannot function with) 1-3 times a week AND sometimes they last longer than 24 hrs. I have even lost consciousness for a few minutes when one hit, and collapsed several more times. I usually end up in the ER about once a month because of these migraines.
My depression is harder to pinpoint the exact date, but I did have my first mental breakdown in September, 1997 (That is the first time I admitted something was wrong with myself emotionally, and was put on prozac at the time but a doctor at BGSU). I hated prozac as all it did was put my emotions in a box, so I could go about my daily routine without bursting into tears or explode with anger without any warning. It allowed me to get my schoolwork done, but it also made me do some idiotic things like binge drink every weekend with my neighbor across the hall (her bf was 21, so we could get the alcohol we wanted) I even called Jason while I was drunk in the middle of the night, which he thought hilarious. I have been off and on antidepressants since then. The worst pard of it is, is I frequently get this bad voice in my head telling me just to end the suffering and pain that I am not only causing myself, but that I am also causing my family and a few select friends that know most of this.
I mentioned that I was admitted to the hospital this past April/May. I had to go to the ER, because I was having a seriously bad migraine that my rescue meds didn't help with. In the course of the interview with treoge nurse, she asked if I had any thoughts of hurting myself or others. I burst into tears and told her of the voice telling me to hurt myself so my family would be better off without having to take care of me. I was then put onto suicide watch in the ER, and sat outside a curtained room next to the nurses station in a chair, since the had no free beds.
About 30 min after I got settled, the cops brought in this woman who had her face covered with a bag and handcuffed, screaming at her father, using Jesus's name in vain and saying some very nasty other things I don't want to recall. She was placed in the curtained room right infront of me. One of my panic attack set offs is screaming and yelling in an angry tone of voice, so within 30 seconds of the curtain closing after her, I start having a huge panic attack and start to get hysterical. The nurse set to watch me notices this about 5-10 min later. I ask for some xanax and my migraine meds and ask to be moved because she was upsetting me greatly- tears streaking down my face, me shaking like there is an earthquake going on, that kind of thing. I am surprised I didn't blackout, because I have done so in the past when having a panic attack. He quickly finds a bed 50ft from the room, gets me a panic attack drug, and puts in an IV to administer the migraine stuff. Jason was finally able to get there, because the super on his shift let him out a hr early from. We are then told that I was being admitted to the psych ward for observation because, obviously my depression meds and panic attack/anxiety meds aren't working At 12pm the following day I was told I was being transferred to Mount Carmel West because the ward at OSU was full and no vacancies were going to happen for at least 48 hrs. Long story short, I was there 7 days, and they gave me a "new" rx that is SNRI, instead of just a SSRI.
My several docs I see - GP, Neuro, and Psychiatrist think that they are related, and if we can get a handle on one, then the other should decrease. The number of different meds I am on (these are just my daily meds) is about 8. On top of that, I have 4 emergency migraine rescue drugs and 1 rescue panic attack/anxiety drug. I have not been online much since getting out of the hospital, partly due to the backlit screens are painful to look at, and because I am extremely tired.
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